Persons with personality disorders are generally not behaving well and can have a negative psychological impact on the persons with whom they are in direct contact. Make sure to click to know more. If after having relations with some people you have the impression that you are heavily exhausted, your borders are violated, your life values and standards are attacked, your optimism is suppressed, your desire to do something constructive in your life, you do not have the support you are probably in relationship with a burdensome, toxic person.
Why do people stay in burdensome relationships?
Often, people realize that they have only unpleasant feelings and relationships with relationships with certain people, but they still maintain that relationship even though they would prefer to leave it. Why? Because for such a relationship they are bound by some of their dysfunctional beliefs that they cannot easily get rid of and which usually activate the feeling of guilt and fear. Some of these beliefs may be:
We know each other for so many years we know and we had nice moments, I cannot just get out of this relationship (feeling guilty);
He / she is my brother / sister / mother / father, I cannot stop them contacting them, it is unacceptable (feeling guilty);
I am a bad human being if I betray my friend / relative (feeling guilty);
If I come out of this emotional relationship I will never find such a girl / boy / spouse (fear of solitude);
How to deal with the burdensome people?
There are three ways to deal with these people.
Talk to a person and point out what disturbs us in her behavior
Reduce intensity of contact with a person
Discontinue any contact with a person
Talking with a person whose behavior is bothering us must be done very carefully. Here we need to apply the rule of assertive communication, and we do not condemn the person but let us know what disturbs us in her behavior. For example, when you behave so I feel hurt. I’m telling you this because I care that this relationship will continue to be better. Sometimes a person is not aware that her behavior causes negative feelings in your home, and will try to change her behavior for a good relationship, but this often does not have to be the case, especially if it is a type of personality disorder. Therefore, it would be best to completely discontinue or reduce the relationship with a toxic person. When it comes to relationships with members of the primary family (brother / sister / mother / father), the interruption of relationships, for some people, seems unimaginable so that the solution for them is a reduction in the intensity of contact. It is important that a person remains consistent in abolishing or reducing contact because he can often return the feeling of guilt to the old.